Hobo Tasting Notes
“A crisp and classic golden Bohemian Pilsner brewed with patience and principles. Laid on a bed of biscuity Moravian malt and spiced with citrusy Saaz hops, it’s floral, brisk in bitterness with a gentle rounded sweetness. Deftly balanced; characterful yet quenching; it’s kept in a can because, that way, it retains its freshness for longer.”
That is what we say about Hobo Craft Czech Lager: But why should you, dear drinker, believe us? After all, we’re bound to say it’s the world’s finest elixir.
Don’t take our word for it, drink a Hobo and see for yourself.
But, when you do, make sure you use all of your senses. Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. Forget touch. If you put your fingers in your Hobo, that is considered unacceptable jungling behavior and fellow hobos will rightly deem you a fool. So don’t do it.
You may think that hearing is a little dubious too but lend the can of Hobo your ears as the sound of a can of Hobo being opened and the golden beer glugging into a glass are two of life’s greatest aural pleasures.
What’s more, if you put a can of Hobo Craft Czech Lager to your ear, you can hear the sea. That last sentence may not be true.
Next, use your eyes. Pour your Hobo into your finest ornate glass, hold it up to the natural light and have a look at it. What a damn handsome fellow it is.
A fellow Hobo once described it thus:
“Copious in body yet as swift as a doe eyed deer; it may well boast the most painfully beautiful hue to ever adorn a beer; lustrous like a September sunset, the gentle effervescence clinging to the glass like glistening dew on a rose petal; its virginal white fluffy peak quivering in anticipation of one’s lucky, lucky laughing gear. How much is one of these? I want to buy one”
Now it’s time to bring out the big guns; your nose – the most important instrument in your analytical arsenal. Not just there to keep spectacles on your face, your nose identifies as much as 95% of Hobo’s incredible array of flavours and aromas.
There are thousands of flavour compounds present in Hobo that your tongue won’t tell you about but your nose will. So give the glass a swirl with your [clean] hand covering the rim, get your nose right in there, deep into your glass, and give it several small sniffs. What does it smell like? Why victory, of course.
Having appreciated Hobo’s aromas, it’s now to explore its flavour. Unlike wine tasting, you should really swallow rather than spit when tasting Hobo (if you’re operating heavy machinery, however, then do as the wine guys do).
Not only is it more enjoyable but many believe that the receptors of Saaz hop bitterness, an essential element in Hobo, can be found at the back of the tongue – with the Moravian malt sweetness sitting at the tip.
But, boffins now reckon that the entire tongue can sense all of these tastes more or less equally so when you taste Hobo, slowly circulate it around the tongue giving it time to get to know the beer.
Take another sip and it’ll tell you more, not just about the flavours but about the silky smooth texture too. It’s the lengthy lagering time that gives Hobo its lovely roundness that fills the mouth and glides off the tongue.
And don’t forget to breathe and open up your retro-nasal passage – essential in celebrating Hobo’s beautiful balance of gentle hop bitterness, biscuity sweetness and clean fruity character that it gets from lengthy fermentation in traditional open “squares”.
Before you swallow, aerate your Hobo, by puckering the lips like Kenneth Williams and breathing in like a backward whistle – be careful, however, not to flob all over your fellow Hobo drinkers while doing this.
And then, as with life, there’s the finish. How does the Hobo bid farewell? Does it fall of a cliff like lacklustre lagers one could mention? Or does it outstay its welcome like the mother-in-law?
As you‘ll no doubt discover, it does neither – choosing instead to linger on the palate, the glorious finish gently fading away leaving you with the irrepressible urge to reach for another Hobo.
Repeat if necessary.